CRY NOW, DANCE LATER

THE TROUBLE WITH JUDGEMENT

June 2, 2023

The trouble with judgement is a common one. And common doesn’t really begin to scratch the surface, because the trouble with judgement may in fact be the trouble with our experience of reality itself. It appears to me that reality always and inevitably presents itself as paradox: a set of seeming opposing positions moving ever closer together but never quite touching, yet ever away from each other in opposite directions, only to find themselves moving ever closer at the most extremes, and somehow converging back to a center that never seems to quite hold. These paradoxes, this duality that seems to show itself wherever we look, leaves us feeling as though we are stuck in an inescapable maze or given a riddle that begs for a solution, but one we can’t seem to find, particularly if we are trying to find our way out with our own navigation skills, or our own intellect. These tools can help bring us to the door, but they can never fully enter. Christ is the only thing that can bind the paradoxes of reality together. Or another way to put it is that Christ is reality, as he says "I am The Way, the truth and The Life."  In a very real way he binds all of existence together - "All things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Just as Jesus brings together God and man, King and servant, finite and infinite, Judgement is no different. In Christ judgement is revealed as lavish, unending grace and forgiveness, of which there is no end, yet it also calls us mercilessly toward ultimate beauty and perfection in love, burning away anything that is not made up of such things. As humans our tendency is to constantly, sloppily, be slipping from one side of a paradox to another, missing the mark so to speak. And this missing the mark - the sin as it were, is what lies at the heart of the human condition. When all the layers have been peeled back, this is at the core, that we are unable to fully participate in the harmony of reality. Somehow we’ve found ourselves outside of God, sick and hurting trying desperately to get back into harmony. To get back into Christ. [And the two ways in which we do this are two sides to the same coin. The first is that we create our own God to participate with, or our own way to participate with God. And maybe what lies at the root of this is convincing ourselves that a lesser God will satiate us. Or we can create our own path to God. The second is the idea that we can justify ourselves through morality. That we can clothe ourselves so to speak.]

I think a great illustration of this is found in the story of the women caught in adultery. Before going there, however, I’d like to try and show that judgement is inevitable. There’s no way to get around it. We judge things constantly, but most of the time we just don’t realize it as such. We judge whether a chair is good to sit in, or what food might be good for breakfast. We judge things even when we aren’t conscious of it. For instance when we eat, We put the food in our mouth instead of our eye and don’t eat our fork along with our meal, because food doesn’t go in the eye and forks aren’t good for digestion.  I’m not sure if there’s anything we can do in life without judgement. When I wake up I make a choice whether it’s better to go to work or get fired, drive my car or walk, which side of the car to get in and so on and so on. So the key isn’t wether or not to be “judgy”, the key is the “who-what-where-when-why-and-how” I judge. And as with all things in Christ there is a surprise twist or perhaps twists. Paradoxes constantly being brought into harmony.

So now let’s turn to the story of the adulteress woman. She is brought before Jesus by a group of Pharisees and scribes, who ask Jesus whether or not the woman should be stoned as the Law of Moses commands, and as we know the story goes, Jesus says “he without sin cast the first stone,” and they all walk away in shame. Here we have our first twist. Those who judge with the wrong spirit (let’s say that they got the “who-what-where-when-why-and-how” of it wrong) end up bringing judgement on themselves. And in a strange way it’s their own judgement that falls on them. Indeed their own. For Christ doesn’t even say that they have sinned, he lets their own judgement be a revelation to themselves. Then the next twist, Jesus turns to the woman and says, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you”. Here we have the judgement of Jesus. The true judge. And what is his judgment? His judgement is tenderness and restoration and forgiveness. His judgement is always these things. Which in a strange way doesn’t really feel like judging at all. Yet, and this is the final paradoxical twist of the story, he sends her off with a command. And not just any command, the ultimate command, a command that is greater and more burdensome than the one she has just failed, the command to be perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect, to “Go and sin no more.” 

SURRENDER

MAYBE A POEM. MAYBE A THEODICY. MAYBE NIETHER

June 2, 2023

Surrender is the ultimate form of power.

It was through surrender that all that came to be came to be. 

It was surrender that allowed us to fall so that we may stand taller, grander, wiser than before.

It was surrender that allowed evil to cast it’s long shadow. 

But alas, Surrender outwits even the shadows.